April 22, 2005

My new baby nephew was born today @ around 6 this morning. YATTA!!!~!!!! <333 oh, your auntie denise loves you already ^______________^haha, hopefully this will be their last kid and hopefully they'll use better contraception methods .. let's just say that all the kids were an accident. i find it funny how my sister was asking ME, of all people, about contraception .... like is she trying to imply something?!?!! and we're asian. we don't talk about sex among family and especially parents ... i learned about the birds and the bees watching playboy tv and my sister's stack of playboy magazines :D I KNOW! wasn''t my sister just totally awesome for having stacks of playboy magazines? HAHAHA, so i was always a fan of looking at naked chicks :) they're much prettier than looking at naked men, don't you think? :P ... though, some half naked men are quite hot ;)Late at night when all the world is sleepingI'd stay up and think of youAnd I'd wish on a starThat somewhere you are thinking of me tooCuz I'm dreaming of you tonightTill tomorrow, I'll be holding you tightAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThen here in my room,Dreaming about you and meWonder if you even see meAnd I wonder if you know I'm thereIf you looked in my eyesWould you see what's inside?Would you even care?I just wanna hold you closeBut so far, all I have are dreams of youSo, I wait for the day and the courage to sayHow much I love you(Yes, I do)I'll be dreaming of you tonightTill tomorrow, I'll be holding you tightAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThen here in my room,Dreaming about you and meAhhh...I can't stop dreaming of youAhhh...I can't stop dreaminLate at night when all the world is sleepingI'd stay up and think of youAnd I still can't believe that you came up to meAnd said, "I love you; I love you too"Now I'm dreaming with you tonightTill tomorrow, and for all of my lifeAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThen here in my room,Dreaming with you endlessly... & no particular reason .. i just love this song :PHAHA, LMAO!! I'm listening to the radio right now and it's playing "sexual healing" ~ This is some great shit! :D-denise

日本町

another beautiful day~ <3 i think i'm in love! in love with spring days. :lesigh: a girl can get used to feeling like this :)

Life is beautiful

weather was lovely today so i decided to have a date with myself. got me flowers and everything! haha, i'm too sweet. i'm the luckiest girl alive! <33 whoo~! :hugs self:it sure feels like spring :)Anyway!! my cousin's wife in new york had a baby girl this afternoon. Congrats Lisa!! I can't wait to visit you guys later and see the new family member! :D And my sister will be having her baby in late April. I can't wait to become an auntie and get vomit all over me, again. hahaha, that's why you always have to burp them. ALWAYS! little kids and puppies are so cute! btw, i cut my hair today ... bah. it'll grow :( and then i'll cut it again. i'm starting to see a pattern .. i'll never have long hair again!-denise

tell me why

i wrote what happened at starbucks today but erased it all because i don't want anyone to feel sorry or worried over me. i'll be ok, i'm strong! :Dand here's my favorite poem by pablo neruda:Tonight i can write the saddest lines Tonight I can write the saddest lines. Write, for example, 'The night is shattered And blue stars shiver in the distance'. The night wind revolves in the sky and sings. Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. Through the nights like this one I held her in my arms. I kissed her over and over again under the endless sky. She loved me, sometimes I did love her too. How could I not have loved her great eyes. Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her. To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture. What does it matter if my love could not keep her. The night is shattered and she is not with me. This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied because it has lost her. My sight searches for her as though to go to her. My heart looks for her, and she is no longer with me. The same night whitening the same trees. We both of that time are no longer the same. I no longer love her, that's true, but how much I have loved her. My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing. Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before. Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes. I no longer love her, that’s true, but maybe I do love her. Love is so short and forgetting is so long. Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms My soul is not satisfied because it has lost her. Though this is the last pain that she makes me suffer And these the last verses I do write for her.i don't usually read poems, but i love this one a lot. thank you for today ami <3 but whenever i'm feeling down, Garfield always puts a little curve on my lip.-denise

taken from albany's post:

Relationships, whether friendly or romantic, are not that black and white. Every person is susceptible to a wide range of emotions, even if we don't want to admit it. The more time you spend with someone, the wider the range of emotions you feel with them. So what? So, maybe once you grasped each other's hands during a scary movie...maybe once, you held each other close because you were sad...in those moments, you felt a sense of comfort, safety, and love. When it comes to emotions, people are stupid. People get confused and for a fleeting moment they consider the possibilities...because it would be nice to feel that comfort and love all of the time.That is why we fall for our friends._______________________________I can't rememberthe last thing that you saidas you were leaving.Now the days go by so fast._______________________________i was just moodly yesterday, that's all, and it dragged through to today. i was suppose to get off work later tonight, but i had to leave early because i was having a terrible headache. prior to that, i was frustrated because this girl F-ed everything up so it was more work for me. thank goodness i'm going to have some time to myself tomorrow. i'm thinking ... hitting a bookstore and lounging for a good 3 hours with a vanilla latte, or just sitting at home being a giant blob. oh yes, shopping too. banana republic is having a sale. you know i'll be there .. i mentally picked everything out already, i just have to try everything on to see if i really like it :)-denise

sorry, i love you. but all i can give you is pain.

Eunchae (aka rock head) talking to Cha Moonhyuk (aka Ahjuhshi):To die ...Is that a big deal?It's just normal.People all die once.For the time there is to live, love a lot.Happily, Beautifully, Nicely ...That's how to live.To be like this without talking.Don't you feel that it's a waste in the time you have?Cha Moonhyuk, you rock headLater, after you leave ...Our rockhead; how sad she would be ...And that's why you're running away like this.I know Ahjuhshi.But there is something that you don't knowFor the people that still have something,They'll do anything to live.It's sad for the people that die ...People who are bound to live will do anything to do so.And I'm a rock head ..I lose things ...I forget things ...My head is really stupid.I ...After a month, I'll probably forget everything easily.In that one month, I'll spend time with my heart hurting ...After a month passes by, I'll meet my friends and talk.Go out and eat ...And watch a comedy program and laugh ...I'll live very wellSo you don't have to worry about me.So after I let you go ...Shouldn't have been mean.Should've been nicer.Should have loved more.Don't let me regret.Play with me, Ahjuhshi.:'( There's only one more episode .... Let's see what will happen in the end. *sigh* .. i'm still waiting for the subtitles to come out ~.~ i want to lean korean, i want to learn korean! but i did learn a few phrases after watching this! :D like i can now say "sorry", "i love you", "brother", "mom", "mister", "sister", etc ... i've been saying "ahjuhshi" like everywhere i go now because eunchae ALWAYS calls moonhyuk that. hehee :3

Phone Post

VoicePost 32K0:07(no transcription available)Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.

Poems

Phenomenal WomenPretty women wonder where my secret lies.I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's sizeBut when I start to tell them,They think I'm telling lies.I say,It's in the reach of my armsThe span of my hips,The stride of my step,The curl of my lips.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me.I walk into a roomJust as cool as you please,And to a man,The fellows stand orFall down on their knees.Then they swarm around me,A hive of honey bees.I say,It's the fire in my eyes,And the flash of my teeth,The swing in my waist,And the joy in my feet.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me.Men themselves have wonderedWhat they see in me.They try so muchBut they can't touchMy inner mystery.When I try to show themThey say they still can't see.I say,It's in the arch of my back,The sun of my smile,The ride of my breasts,The grace of my style.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me.Now you understandJust why my head's not bowed.I don't shout or jump aboutOr have to talk real loud.When you see me passingIt ought to make you proud.I say,It's in the click of my heels,The bend of my hair,the palm of my hand,The need of my care,'Cause I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me. -Maya Angelou______________________________________If You Forget MeI want you to knowone thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine. -Pablo Neruda______________________________________Saddest PoemI can write the saddest poem of all tonight. Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance." The night wind whirls in the sky and sings. I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. On nights like this, I held her in my arms.I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky. She loved me, sometimes I loved her.How could I not have loved her large, still eyes? I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her. To hear the immense night, more immense without her.And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass. What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.The night is full of stars and she is not with me. That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.My soul is lost without her. As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.My heart searches for her and she is not with me. The same night that whitens the same trees.We, we who were, we are the same no longer. I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.My voice searched the wind to touch her ear. Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she oncebelonged to my kisses.Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes. I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.Love is so short and oblivion so long. Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,my soul is lost without her. Although this may be the last pain she causes me,and this may be the last poem I write for her. -Pablo Neruda______________________________________Your LaughterTake bread away from me, if you wish,take air away, butdo not take from me your laughter.Do not take away the rose,the lance flower that you pluck,the water that suddenlybursts forth in joy,the sudden waveof silver born in you.My struggle is harsh and I come backwith eyes tiredat times from having seenthe unchanging earth,but when your laughter entersit rises to the sky seeking meand it opens for me allthe doors of life.My love, in the darkesthour your laughteropens, and if suddenlyyou see my blood stainingthe stones of the street,laugh, because your laughterwill be for my handslike a fresh sword.Next to the sea in the autumn,your laughter must raiseits foamy cascade,and in the spring, love,I want your laughter likethe flower I was waiting for,the blue flower, the roseof my echoing country.Laugh at the night,at the day, at the moon,laugh at the twistedstreets of the island,laugh at this clumsyboy who loves you,but when I openmy eyes and close them,when my steps go,when my steps return,deny me bread, air,light, spring,but never your laughterfor I would die. -Pablo Neruda______________________________________Boa ConstrictorOh, I'm being eatenBy a boa constrictor,A boa constrictor,A boa constrictor,I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,And I don't like it--one bit.Well, what do you know?It's nibblin' my toe.Oh, gee,It's up to my knee.Oh my,It's up to my thigh.Oh, fiddle,It's up to my middle.Oh, heck,It's up to my neck.Oh, dread,It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . . Shel Silverstein